I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize