yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
