There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
