I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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