Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
