I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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