I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
pop tarts are not kleenex
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
