Redeem this text for a blowjob
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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