We named our party play list daddy issues
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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