who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
