I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize