she sounds like chewbacca in bed
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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