My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
