batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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