Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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