I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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