Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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