Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
