smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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