He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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