Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
