I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
