? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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