He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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