Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
