first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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