Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
