My hair reeks of homosexuality.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
