saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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