Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
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