Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
