it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
