Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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