Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i wish my penis had a tongue
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
