you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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