Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
