Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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