ya dads aren't the best wingmen
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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