I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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