We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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