omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
