I wish I could punch you in the face.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
