Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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