I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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