You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
