would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
