did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
