can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
