A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
