guys are only as good as the porn they watch
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
