Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
my liver is dry heaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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