i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
