Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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