ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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