also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
