I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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