i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
