This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Are we still banned from the library?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
