let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
