If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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