Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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