Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize