sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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