she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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